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Joke of the Day
"What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread? It's stalemate"
Next Joke
"What college did the eyeball go to? ICU."
"Do you have holes in your socks? You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?"
"And then Satan said, ""Put the alphabet in math..."""
"Did you hear Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15.5 years in prison today? Under 16, that is a big win for him.   Credit to /u/RandomExcess"
"What does an Asian with the biggest erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."
"Remember when you were a kid and you used to blow bubbles? He said hi..."
"CPR is a lot like church... CPR is a lot like church: you go up, down, up, down, up, down. The only difference is that you don't get snacks in CPR."
"Eternal life Police have arrested a man for selling pills that promise eternal life. Records show that it was the fourth time he has been arrested. His previous arrests were in 1760,1839, and 1946."
"A Neckbeard Approaches a Cancer Patient at a Bar... He tips his fedora and says, ""Malady."""