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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15.5 years in prison today? Under 16, that is a big win for him.   Credit to /u/RandomExcess"

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"How is Rihanna's boyfriend and power tools the same? They're both Black and Decker."
"Your mommas so fat When she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody."
"According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8"
"Q: Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? A: Because umbrellas can't walk."
"What's the funniest part of a boxing joke? You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints..."
"The iPhone 7 ad has a catchy song... Hit the road Jack"
"If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress"
"What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch? Namaste"
"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"