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Joke of the Day

"The only French I know are words for food items and the chorus of Lady Marmelade. Turns out that's all you really need."

"How bad is it, doc? ""Well, you'll never run again"" So basically the same"

"What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke? Diet coke has better advertising."

"Why can't Jewish people view pornography?? Because watching people porkin' just ain't Kosher! Wakakakaka"

"Why is the economy so bad has anyone told these guys there's always money in the banana stand"

"Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars."

"He thought I wore a size two. A size two?! I started laughing so hard, I spit out the donut I was eating."

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. And one was As-salted."

"New documentary about the female menstrual cycle. Available exclusively at Redbox."