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Joke of the Day
"Here's a joke! Obamacare.... I can't afford it.... fml"
Next Joke
"How many kids do you think Wolverine has? Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out."
"Why you never mess with imported ants? Because they are **important**."
"""What you don't know won't hurt you."" Oh, yeah good logic. Unless what I ""don't know"" about is the man waiting for me in the parking lot."
"A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!"
"Did you hear about the competition between Volvo and the other Swedish car manufacturer? It's all just a Saab story, really."
"What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it."
"My hearing loss in both ears"
"5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true."
"How is anal sex like your first car? It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway."