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Joke of the Day

"My hearing loss in both ears"

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"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? She didn't know either"
"What does Hitler and Barney Stinson have in common? They are both legend... wait for it ...aryan"
"Tried to hit on a girl whom I thought was married. A miss"
"How is Hillary Clinton and a high class prostitute different? Rich people pay the prostitute to fuck them, they pay Hillary Clinton to fuck everyone else."
"""Better to be pissed off than pissed on!"" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss."
"The god of time is going back to school to upgrade. Time will take its course"
"How do you keep an AssHole in suspense?"
"What do you call a Phillipino contortions? A manilla folder"
"My dvd got a scratch... so i used sandpaper to smooth it out"