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Joke of the Day
"What's black and blue and red all over? The dress"
Next Joke
"Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook."
"""Men are pigs"" - misandrist &/or world's worst biologist"
"How to make a girl laugh Step One: ask her out."
"[At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal"
"i make a point never to repeat gossip... (pause) so listen the first time!"
"I am going to kiss you and take your resources"
"My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician"
"My car keeps pulling to the right forcing me to steer left. Either the alignment is off or I'm trying to drive a Republican."
"I want to die like my grandfather did Quiet and peacefully, unlike the screaming passengers in his car."