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Joke of the Day
"A new remake of Titanic features Bruce Willis. Bruce saves everyone."
Next Joke
"How do you tell if someone's an introvert? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"Psychic wanted: You know where to apply."
"My dad says I'm lazy, but he's wrong. I like work. I could watch it for hours."
"When god created Adam, she said: ""I've got good news and bad news.... ...good news is, I'm giving you a penis AND a brain. Bad news is, I'm only giving you enough blood to use one at a time."""
"*spits out animal cracker* This doesn't even taste like hippo."
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it's paws, a comma has a pause and the end of it's clause."
"A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest. It came to blows."
"I remember when [person x] was just *this* big (hold hand at knee level)... Then as I got closer I realized it was a matter of perspective."
"I want this guy to teach me to fish, but he keeps handing me lemons."