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Joke of the Day
"The police never think its as funny as you do."
Next Joke
"You know what was lit? The Freedom Bus."
"Totally thought I was on the phone with my mom for an hour today. Was Daniel Day Lewis the whole time. Damn he's good."
"What did the tv say to the remote control? ""you turn me on"""
"The NSA: The only part of government that actually listens"
"[on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya"
"I only make good posts when I'm drunk... Today I celebrate 5 years sober"
"I like my jokes on r/jokes like my daily routine... Repeated daily"
"What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies."
"When a man sleeps with a lot of women.... ....he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum. -Another gem by Jimmy Carr"