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Joke of the Day

"When the audio cuts out at the end of a newscast and the anchors start chit-chatting I like to pretend it's about my surprise party."

"What's the difference between a star and America? The star has a bright future."

"My kid is almost old enough for social media, so we'll need to have ""the talk"" soon. You know, about your/you're and there/their/they're."

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"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"What do you call a rich Chinese? https://i.imgur.com/txMwWBX.jpg"

"What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner? Post-Hummus"

"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."

"The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else."

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for kids""... Sounds like a fair trade."