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Joke of the Day

"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with four captains? She came back with a Red Snapper."

"I was at a restaurant when I noticed my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered really slowly, because she obviously doesn't listen well."

"Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"

"My favorite kinds of people are sandwiches."

"Once upon a time there was a happy woman... But that happened only once and only to one woman"

"Today is Tax Day. It's going to be a tough day for the few hundred people in the U.S. that are still making an income."

"What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration."

"Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me."

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it."