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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"

"""The total cost would be 3000,"" said the funeral director. ""And that includes digging the grave."" ""Is that the whole thing?"" I asked. He replied, ""Yes, that's the hole thing."""

"Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."

"Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ? Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally."

"If you ever get really mad. All you have to do is think about a T-Rex trying to pick up a basketball."

"You know why when you look up and see birds flying in a V pattern, one side seems longer than the other? More birds on that side."

"I got the opportunity to taste some Wookiee steak today It was a little Chewie."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven!"

"Q: What do clouds wear under their clothes? A: Thunderware."

"The driver & Police Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""