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Joke of the Day

"If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing"

"Him: Are you perioding? Me: Are you deathwishing?"

"What's the difference between a swimmer and a gay? The swimmer smells like chlorine all over his body, while the gay only smells like chlorine on one part"

"What do you call a Jew who is terrible with money? Bernie Sanders."

"My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight. Why does he care about how I spend my money?"

"What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket? Coloured scrambled eggs"

"I have a great joke Newcastle United"

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."

"I want to marry the smell of gasoline and have little gasoline smelling kids with it and spend the rest of my days smelling my family."

"My roommate has a red face all the time. He says it's because of a skin condition but I think he's secretly appropiating native American culture."