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Joke of the Day

"When your boss says ""you're getting a little behind,"" he won't appreciate it when you wink and say ""been working out-thanks for noticing."""

"If a Butterfinger doesn't list butter as an ingredient, then is it all just finger?"

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"""Where will you see yourself in 15 years?"" A Mirror"

"I thought revenge was a dish best served cold... Then I remembered it was actually the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands."

"I'm so fucking sick of you guys making Asian-lady stereotypes. Now shut up so I can get back to my nail salon."

"ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?"

"I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*"

"Once you... Once you go black, you're a single mother."

"Pickup lines in /r/jokes? Stahp."