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Joke of the Day

"You know, I'm really worried about future of Kickstarter with all this talk about cannabis legalization. Nobody wants to have to sift through even more half baked ideas."

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"me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends"
"Jokes on you redditor If you are reading this... you proved it."
"What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy? A family reunion."
"HEY DISNEY: If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why'd it fall off? Yeah, time to do some critical thinking."
"Post your best ""Jared Fogle"" jokes! Here's mine:Jared Fogle loves to eat little girls ham sandwiches."
"I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::...:::::"
"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."
"What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow? You stop milking the cow after ten years."
"[pulling the casket a few inches away from the wall during a funeral] sorry just need to plug in my phone for a minute"