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Joke of the Day

"Nine times out of ten, when I say ""on my way"" or ""be there in 5 or 10,"" I haven't even left my house yet."

"What's the difference between a reindeer and a caribou? Caribou can't fly."

"I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone."

"Q: What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire? A: Lawn chair."

"What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat stink and be merry!"

"What color is the wind? Son: ""What color is the wind?"" Mom: ""The wind is the wind, it had no color. It's transparent"" Dad: ""The wind is blue"" Mom: ""Blue? How so?"" Dad: ""Because the wind blew"""

"My friend Matt really likes bullfighting. Specifically, Mattadores bullfighting"

"Born too late to explore the earth, born too early to explore the Galaxy... ...born too ugly to explore a woman."

"My handwriting has gotten pretty bad... I am the most illegible bachelor in my hometown!"

"I only drink on special occasions... Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today"