28371

Joke of the Day

"Born too late to explore the earth, born too early to explore the Galaxy... ...born too ugly to explore a woman."

"What are the three ""O""s of bad driving? Old. Oriental. Ovaries."

"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."

"[first date] Her: I love your scent, what is it? Me: desperation."

"In lieu of the recent manhunt... The LAPD's motto is ""to protect and serve."" I think they ought to change it to ""We'll treat you like a King."""

"What do guys with big dicks eat for breakfast? Didn't think you'd know."

"Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other."

"I dropped my soap in the shower. On purpose. Nothing happened. You guys are full of it."

"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people!"

"Did you hear about the hooker who had an appendectomy? Now she makes money on the side."