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Joke of the Day

"I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone."

"What did Putin say when he was finally fed up with Boris Nemtsov? I'm putin' that guy to sleep"

"My friend went camping in the Serengeti with all sorts of lions roaming around It was in tents"

"New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said ""No"" so I said SIRI ously"

"So wrong, it must be right. So right, it must be left. WTF? These directions are terrible."

"Yo mama so old.. when she was young the hottest boygroup was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John."

"Sometimes having an extra chromosome... really gets me down"

"Kanye smashing his bathroom mirror to free the other Kanye trapped behind the glass."

"What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits? A Curtis-y flush"

"When playing golf my wife got stung by a bee between the first and second hole I told her that her stance was too wide"