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Joke of the Day

"Q: What happens if a monster steps on Batman and Robin? A: They become Flatman and Ribbon."

"Seems to me the guy who named sneakers was up to no good."

"So archaeologists found another Dead Sea Scroll... They opened it up, and read: GENESIS 1:0 ""Before the beginning, there was Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris said, 'Let there be God.'"""

"BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary's 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos."

"Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?"

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [Credit Jack Handy, I believe]"

"Referees at the Lions-Seahawks Game"

"My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says ""Your password is incorrect"", I type in: ""incorrect"" and the silly thing still tells me the same thing."

"What's the difference between an eight-ball of cocaine and a pre-pubescent boy? Eric Clapton wouldn't let an eight-ball of coke fall out a hotel window."

"What do you call a torturer who says a lot of puns. A PUNisher"