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Joke of the Day

"My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says ""Your password is incorrect"", I type in: ""incorrect"" and the silly thing still tells me the same thing."

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I haven't met him yet."

"Cancer research scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish. The results speak for themselves.."

"What do you get when you cross a flea with a rooster? An itchy cock."

"Where do bees go to the bathroom? The BP station."

"My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It's odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush."

"[police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a grey Me: ... My dog: like a light grey. If that helps"

"Me: Give me some space, I'm feeling claustrophobic 8 whispers to 9: Leave Mom alone, she has to poop but she can't"

"Why do farts smell so bad? So the deaf can enjoy them too."

"They say rejection is a hard pill to swallow... But it's just practice for the 60 pain killers later."