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Joke of the Day

"last night I did a poo and in it was a tied up length of rope I shit you knot"

"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"

"So I was having sex with a girl from work... She wasn't really into it, and then to make matters worse my boss walked in on us. Long story short, I lost my job at the morgue."

"What is the difference between a dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!"

"How does a Jewish man know his wife died? Well, the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up."

"My boyfriend said this when he was high: ""Who founded the KKK?"" ""Forrest Gump, because it's fuckin retarded."" Edit: NSFW"

"I'm never condescending That's when you talk down to people."

"If you're religious you dont get to pick & choose ""You shall not make for yourself an idol"" That Disney sticker means you're going to hell"

"Sometimes when I'm singing a song a get an urge to skip the chorus... But I always refrain"

"So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it."