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Joke of the Day

"Hey Reddit what's the most useful type of doctor? An On-call-ogist."

"Are you a mixologist? I could tell by your poor style."

"Sext I just received from my wife- ""Wake up! You're snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed."""

"Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine? You have to use a rope."

"[NSFW] What did the sperm cell say when it realized it had just been dumped into an ass, not a pussy? Oh, shit."

"What can you say about a car and not a girl/your gf? It's easy to turn on, and even though it's eleven, I still love her."

"My friends are named after what they do... My friend Butch is a butcher, my friend Taylor is a tailor, and my black friend's name is Rob"

"Pain Pills? You mean bitch mints? **^^flexes**"

"It's not that he liked big butts; it's that he could not lie. THAT'S why Sir Mix-a-Lot deserved his knighthood."

"Kevin and Stuart both named Bob as the sole beneficiary in their wills.... They made him a Multi Minion Heir"