75179

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his girlfriend on the other side, but then he got taken by McDonalds and crushed for chicken nuggets."

"You know what they say: Finding the right analogy is has hard as hmm..."

"A blind man.. Is walking down the street and stumbles upon a fish market With out skipping a beat he says ""good morning ladies!"" *proceeds to play colt 45*"

"We're probably missing out on a lot of good candy by stereotyping creepy people who have white vans with tinted windows who give free candy."

"One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you."

"How did the founding fathers of Canada name there country? They drew letters from a hat. ""A 'C' eh! An 'N' eh! A 'D' eh!"" they cried"

"1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate ""only one piece of cake."""

"Hi my name is, Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop."

"What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine? One doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."

"Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*"