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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates."

"My mother asked me today if I was more attracted to breasts or butts.. I told her to shut up and put her robe back on."

"What's the best thing about a penis? Think long and hard before you answer this one."

"Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad boy to join your crew."

"An octopus is very cool because if Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were drowning, it would have enough tentacles to save all of them."

"ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now"

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower's plane leave Washington DC? He was Edward Snowed-In."

"It's cool we live in a time where we can just type ""lol"" or ""haha"" without actually having to laugh or have feelings."

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells"

"An increasing number of farmers are losing their crops due to drought It's a growing problem."