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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your girlfriend to blow your paycheck!"

"I'm at a stage in my life where I know I should workout and eat healthy, but swallowing a tapeworm seems easier."

"*knocks over the 17 Starbucks cups on her nightstand *answers her alarm clock, ""hello?"""

"What do you say to comfort the grammar nazi? There, their, they're..."

"What do they call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids"

"What do you call an Indian lesbian? Mingita..."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the titanic? About halfway"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Its ok he worked it out with a pencil"

"What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda? Civic doody."

"How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada? Piece of cake."