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Joke of the Day
"*knocks over the 17 Starbucks cups on her nightstand *answers her alarm clock, ""hello?"""
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage."
"""No, YOU'VE had too much to drink!"" ~Me, to this bar stool"
"What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk? My Zipper."
"*places empty liquor bottle on shelf for display* I'm An Animal Now Everyone. I Decorate With Trash. Literally An Animal"
"I would say I'm pretty Indecisive... Well actually maybe not"
"What does weed and your girlfriend have in common? They both leave me sticky fingers. [7]"
"Please make sure my tombstone reads: wish you were here."
"Cyber sex is not as easy as it looks. I should have picked a less crowded Starbucks."
"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-her-face!"