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Joke of the Day

"Takes approximately 7.5 seconds for #Adele to make you mourn a relationship that you weren't even in."

"My girlfriend wanted to join the Mile High Club... But I didn't give a flying fuck."

"What does Korean food taste like? Chinese food."

"How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"I hope rapidly clicking this arrow on Google Street View counts as jogging."

"When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop."

"What happened when the shaggy dog swallowed a teaspoon? He wasn't able to stir."

"How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder ""Instruction Manuals."""

"Hubby: ""Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""I don't want to bother you while you are at work."""

"Why dont Asians go to the theaters? Because they always see widescreen!"