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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, ""Wow, that's a pretty big word for a eight year old."""

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"I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend."
"Maybe the reason that goats are so angry is because they don't have hands to stroke those magnificent beards with while pondering quandaries"
"There are only 2 kinds of Priest: There are the ones who masturbate and Liars."
"Calling your girlfriend dumbledore cz she is the real head master"
"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"
"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks."
"What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla? People actually care if a gorilla dies."
"Trumps wives were immigrants Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't"
"What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster? Yes!"
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