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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla? People actually care if a gorilla dies."
Next Joke
"[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden.."
"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""
"If you get a boner at a funeral is it still called mourning wood?"
"""You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"" Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me."
"Stop bragging about your 10,000 lakes, Minnesota. You don't hear Iowa going on and on about its 12,000 smells."
"DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay but you're still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]"
"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intense."
"Steve Irwin died the same way he lived.. ..with animals in his heart."
"Where do David Cameron and his party meet? In the Conservatory!"