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Joke of the Day

"""Errors in pronunciation eventually become part of the language if used widely enough over a long period of time"" linguists, supposably"

"When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm You could say I got Little Seizures."

"Why can't T-rex's clap? Cause they're dead."

"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""

"What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years? Second gear."

"I only hate two kinds of people. The racist people and those fucking mexicans"

"Jesus Saves ... and Esposito scores on the rebound!"

"BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit Tim Tebow hired by mistake. After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco."

"When does a fuckboy become a fuckman? At his bar mitzfuck."

"What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WatAHHH!!"