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Joke of the Day

"I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters."

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"Don't just assume I'm crazy. Let this wedding album I photoshopped you into speak for itself."
"A friend bought a carton of cigarettes from an Israeli grocery and said she found something for a computer in it It was a JewSB drive"
"He already ruined your mascara, don't let him ruin your night."
"Since when did remembering names become such a thing? I think I offended dog face girl, again."
"My only fitness goal is to be able to lift an adult male, approximately the size of my husband, into the trunk of my car without help."
"2 Owls 2 owls are sitting in a tree. First turns to the second and says, ""Did you hear Bill's getting a divorce?"" The second Owl replies, ""Who?"""
"My buddy the hacker took the quiz ""What Beatles song best describes your life."" The answer he got: ""My Way""."
"North Korea bans sarcasm What a great idea."
"Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments."