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Joke of the Day
"How do you start a raid in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling!"
Next Joke
"What's E.T short for? ...'cause he's got little legs"
"Guy jogging pushing stroller for two kids. But only one there. Don't think he knows he lost one."
"Q: What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork? A: Kermit the Frog's Finger"
"*Do not consume if seal is broken* I've just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven't found one seal."
"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"
"My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people's ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn't know fuck about shit."
"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in."
"It's the worst night of the year for my dog and cat... Their names are Pots and Pans."
"What did the made-to-order breakfast dish say to Taylor Swift at the Grammys? Omelette you finish."