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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a raid in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling!"

"Have you heard about the billboard company who only did JPEG files? I heard they got a lot of stretch marks."

"What does a vampire on a diet drink? Blood Lite Thanks Jim Butcher..."

"The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die."

"Her: You have very beautiful hair. Me: Oh, you flirt! *Hands me her card* Her: If you're ever thinking about selling it, call me..."

"I must be looking extra good today because this dude with a backpack on the side of the road was giving me the big thumbs up. Thanks man!"

"Recent statistics show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette."

"What's the difference between a blowjob and a ham sandwich? wanna go to lunch?"

"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."

"What do you call a pimp without a cane? A caneless pimp."