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Joke of the Day

"Meteorologists, frowning, like prophets of doom, pleading with their Snow God for mercy."

"How do you catch a polar bear? First dig an ice hole. Then put a whole bunch of little green peas on the outside, and when the polar bear comes to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole."

"What's something a kangaroo has that no other animal has? Baby kangaroos."

"What's faster hot or cold? Hot! Because anyone can catch a cold! buh duh tsst"

"I'm emotionally constipated... Haven't given a shit in days."

"Pussy Me: Let me tell you a joke. Me: Pussy. You: ... Me: Do you get it? You: No.. Me: Exactly."

"Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty."

"I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs."

"ELI5: what is it like being 6? I'm only 5 and I'm about to turn 6."

"How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!"