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Joke of the Day

"You're psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you."

"flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant."

"How do you remember your wedding anniversary? Forget it once."

"How can you tell who the head doctor is? They're the one with the dirtiest knees"

"A friend told me there's a place like twitter called ""outside"" where people favorite each other by making eye contact and smiling. Unfollow."

"I got probed by an alien last night Its true what they say, Mexicans do work good with their hands"

"I hate when Netflix asks if I'm still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?"

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

"Law Students Why are law students known for drinking? They are getting ready for the Bar exam."

"Wow, where did you learn to be so good at sex?! I was home schooled"