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Joke of the Day

"I tripped in front of Stephen Hawking. He lol'd."

"What do you call a white, poofy space alien? Martianmallow."

"Why didn't Cathy keep the extra dollar of change at Chick-fil-a? Because Cathy can't help being Truett-ful"

"The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears."

"Why not use a see-through, clear plastic hang glider just to freak everyone out?"

"When my wife came home with a puppy, I knew better than to question her. She's the chef, after all."

"Want to hear a joke? The Ghostbusters Remake"

"A judge in Oklahoma City wed a couple and then sentenced the groom to prison. That sounds redundant to me."

"I Ejaculated 6 Feet Earlier. Which is weird, as I usually ejaculate semen."

"Why should the lower 48 states be the lower 46? Because Washington and Colorado aren't low, they're quite high!"