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Joke of the Day

"I hate when Netflix asks if I'm still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?"

"What do Amy Schumer and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."

"What do businessmen and pedophiles have in common? They're both uptight cunts."

"Saw a man waiting for the bus who just stood there staring into the distance. It was as if he just didn't own a phone or something. Weird."

"I didnt believe my grandfather got fired from his job as a Crossing guard for theft... But when i got home the signs were there"

"Bandwagon fans make me so mad, I've hated Benghazi for decades"

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"Besides those glaring flaws that I choose to ignore, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"What do ghosts use for lube? Rectoplasm..."

"Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away? Discover."