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Joke of the Day

"Where can you find baby dwarfs? At a dwarfanage"

"Red. My least favorite urine color."

"When taking your dog to the vet it's very important to remember to put your dog in the car."

"A man goes into a bakery and asks for 99 loaves of bread... ""Why not make it a 100 loaves?"" asks the baker, to which the man responds ""who the fuck eats that much bread?!""."

"Why is Bruce Wayne's hair messed up? Because of his cowlick."

"Maybe Hitler did nothing wrong... Maybe he was reich."

"Giving my liver a Rocky Balboa style pep talk"

"Hungover? Hydrate. Depressed? Hydrate. Want to make a good first impression on others? Hydrate."

"I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians... But I guess stranger things have happened."

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."