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Joke of the Day

"That's not a candy cane in my pocket. I'm just glad to see you!"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? wiped."

"What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !"

"""Please don't do this,"" I beg, as the hairdresser tries to start up another conversation."

"How to you make a Hormone? You kick her in the groin."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assalted."

"Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon"

"I like my girls like I like my computers... Without Viruses."

"I volunteer a lot at a children's hospice... It never gets old."

"Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Him**: What about the other one? **Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet."