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Joke of the Day

"A cheetah stalking its prey would envy the velocity at which I click the skip button when Apple Music plays a Nickelback track"

"Did you hear about the pizza cook who died in the pizza oven explosion? They had to peel him off the ceiling."

"Met a woman with 12 boobs last night... Sounds unbelievable dozen tit"

"what do you get when you cross a rabbit and an ant? Bugs Bunny."

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"If you do not eat your candy corn in three separate bites, starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, I hate you."

"What did the donut say to the loaf of bread? If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward."