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Joke of the Day

"My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage"

"What does a Mathematician say when he eats too much pie? (-1/64)"

"Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold."

"What is the computer's favorite food? Microchips."

"Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains."

"Why do Catholics eat fish on Good Friday? Because Jesus died for our fins."

"What do African-Americans and Jews have in common? An increased risk for pancreatic adenocarcinoma."

"My favorite thing at the Chinese buffet is the chicken balls But man, those must have been awfully big chickens!"

"How does Furious 7 end? Paul Walker dies."

"What do a pussy and KFC have in common? They're both finger licking good, and when your done you have a box to put the bone in"