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Joke of the Day
"How does Furious 7 end? Paul Walker dies."
Next Joke
"Was out a drive with my dyslexic mate... I notice there's something not right. ""Can you smell petrol?"" I say ""Smell petrol?! I can't even smell my name"""
"I made a list of my favorite asses... It's a big ass list."
"Tim Cook just came out as gay... I wont be surprised if the Samsung CEO suddenly becomes gay too."
"I looked up ""my future as an electrician"". It was very bright."
"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack!"
"This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'."
"Uncle Robert was talking to his nephew Jimmy ""Uncle Bobby, how did you become my uncle?"" ""Well Jimmy, your parents went wham-bam and now Bob's your uncle."""
"What do u call a disadvantage for being east-indian Hindi-capped"
"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."