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Joke of the Day

"What did JFK say about his multiple affairs? ""I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."""

"Female perfect set of legs!!! Feet on one end...pussy on the other!"

"Santa Claus came early! Mrs. Claus wasn't too happy."

"I just did one of those ""what noun are you"" quizzes... and I got ""pedantic"", which is an adjective."

"How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb? The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement"

"I peed in my friend's beer before giving it to him... I told him, ""urine for a surprise"""

"What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team? One of them is a bunch of cunning runts"

"It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7... but at least they went out with a bang."

"Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree."

"""How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars,"" I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead"