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Joke of the Day

"pedophile do you think pedophiles get depressed when they see a pregnant women walk into planned parenthood?"

"Are you today's date? Cause you're a 10/10. (Friend told me this today)"

"A train station is where a train stops... A train station is where a train stops, a bus station is where a bus stops, now you know why they call it a work station"

"Two men walked into a bar You'd think at least one of them would've ducked."

"What is the most surprised a cow can be?? UDDERLY SURPRISED! (Edit: UTTERLY to UDDERLY)"

"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask for directions."

"Last night I slept with my contact lenses on. My dreams have never been clearer."

"Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg."

"What is Christopher Reeves' favorite band? The Talking Heads"

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."