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Joke of the Day

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME: *inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk* I thought u'd never ask"

"How long does it take a necrophiliac to screw in a light bulb? Not long... they like to do it while it's still warm."

"Did you hear about the blackout? Don't worry, they caught him."

"Why did the turkey cross the road ? To prove he wasn't chicken"

"Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire."

"Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? it's fucking close to water."

"I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling ""why you ain't got no babies?""I bet my father in law paid her"

"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""

"I asked a chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I finally understood the end of the 6th Sense All those names at the end were people who worked on the movie."