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Joke of the Day

"I asked a chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I went to the doctor to have a large mole removed from my penis... ...If it happens again they'll inform the police."

"FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim"

"Last night, during sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move... She was like, ""What the hell are you doing!?"" And I was like, ""Hush baby, I saw this on PornHub....it's called 'buffering'."""

"My penis Oh, there must be a mistake... ...this post wasn't flagged as long."

"""To be is to do"" - Socrates. ""To do is to be"" - Nietzsche. ""Do be do be do"" - Sinatra. ""Beep beep beep"" - R2D2."

"There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food."

"Where are otters from? Otter space!"

"Skinny If fat people have more skin shouldn't they really be the 'skinny' ones?"

"What did the utahraptor say as Wonder Woman tried to beat him up? Di, no!"