116162

Joke of the Day

"""I OBJECT!"" the defendant screams in court. The judge gives her a very emotional hug and says, ""No...you human."""

"Why are there so many trees along the Champs-Elysees? Because ze Germans like to march in ze shade."

"What do grapefruit and vaginas have in common? The pinker the better and they're both an acquired taste."

"I wish the book ""How to be an adult"" came in hard cover... .. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head."

"""you are the only one who understands me"" i whisper to a piece of pizza."

"Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name ""fire place"""

"My bitch of a Grandma just made me cookies with Raisins in them."

"I caught a mosquito in my hand.. It sucked."

"I was going to make an anal joke... Butt fuck it!"

"A woman walks in to a bar and asks for a Double Entendre... ...So the bartender gave her one."