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Joke of the Day

"Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it."

"Why do you really not want to get pulled over in Ireland? Because the cops are Dublin the fines! (It took me a three hour car ride to come up with this... I am not a clever person)"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out man!"

"I would never want to join the Boy Scouts of America They're just a bunch of BS"

"What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me."

"My son's taking French and my daughter is learning sign language and now I have no idea what anyone's talking about anymore."

"""Are you from Cincinnati?"" ""No. Bosboston."""

"When someone asks me, ""Is this seat saved?"" I like to say ""No, but we're still praying for it"" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead."

"Did u hear about the prostitute with no legs? She's selling it for half off."

"Math, I'm not a therapist... ...Solve your own problems."