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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's mood is like the graph of sin(x)..... Her mood goes up and down within one period."

"Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver? Because she's dead."

"To the jogger clinging to the hood of my car: That's why you run WITH the flow of traffic"

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite form of coordination? HAAAAAND EYEEEEEEE!"

"Old McDonald had a farm and it grew delicious, non-biodegradable french fries."

"Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table."

"The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number."

"GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?"

"Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...? A Porky-Pine"

"What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's? It never happens just once."