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Joke of the Day
"Old McDonald had a farm and it grew delicious, non-biodegradable french fries."
Next Joke
"Trump: The less immigrants we bring in the better' .... .... .... ..... Pence: The fewer' .... .... .... Trump: I told you not to call me that yet'"
"Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime"
"They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I love my d*ck! I don't want it to be sliced off by the women I cheated on..."
"What's the difference between love and herpes? Love doesn't last forever."
"I already blamed 5 of my problems on Black Lives Matter, 7 on political correctness and 3 on the Ghostbusters reboot. Need more scapegoats."
"The abortion train just arrived at the station. ALL ABORT! *choo choo*"
"If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless; I'd be worth something by now."
"Me: So what do you do? Date: I work with animals Me: *imagining an office ran entirely by golden retrievers in suits* Your job sounds fun"
"I'm a genie. If you rub me, ill grant you 3 wishes."