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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an incompetent marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots but cannot hit and the other hoots but cannot shit."

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He has loco motives."

"Working on my new book, ""How to Get Through Life Without Reading."""

"What do you call a Mexican Miget? A paragraph Cause he's to small to be an esse"

"Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie... ... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?"

"[opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night ""aw, that's neat, wait there's more"" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you"

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? ""See you next month!"""

"Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you."