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Joke of the Day

"I try to spend at least 45 minutes on Chatroulette a night, but I usually have to stop early because my arm gets tired."

"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn""... Stupid Firemen. [x-post /r/Christianity]"

"[meeting at amc network] ""Okay so how can we make everyone in Walking Dead look like they smell even worse this season?"""

"Two ions are walking down the street... the first one says I'm missing an electron. The second one asks ""Are you sure?"" The first one says ""I'm positive"""

"Two more nuns Two nuns in a bath. First one says ""where's the soap?"" Second nun says ""yeah, it does doesn't it."""

"I didn't fail my calculus test.... I just gave ""alternative"" answers on a few problems."

"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brent ! Brent who ? Brent out of shape !"

"Did you hear about the comedian terrorist? He was Jihahahadist!"

"Sometimes I masturbate while driving The passengers on my bus don't like it, but the high school hasn't fired me yet..."